Help my friend Parker become a man

I’m selling some of my gear so my friend Parker can get HRT (hormone replacement therapy). He needs it to make the transition from woman to man and I’d like to help him out. If he doesn’t get the HRT, he won’t be able to become a man, and he will have severe physical and emotional problems for the rest of his life.
Here’s the stuff I’m selling. All items are first come first served, meaning first person to contact me with an offer to buy gets it:
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Visual Sound Route 66 Compressor/Overdrive Pedal $40
One of the side effects of HRT is deepening of the voice. This pedal is basically hormone replacement therapy for your guitar solos. It gives sustain and colorization to your notes, and it brings joy and happiness to your playing the same way that HRT brings joy and happiness to transgender men and women.
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BOSS PW-10 V-Wah Pedal $50
Another side effect of HRT is an increased libido. And we all know what having an increased libido means: a need for bow-chicka-wow-wow music. The BOSS PW-10 does just that. And I’m selling it for the crazy low price of $50. It has all the classic wah pedal sounds you want, plus it has a uni-vibe simulation as well (that’s the effect Jimi Hendrix used on his most sexy songs).
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BOSS SL-20 Slicer $40
My friend Parker is going to school to learn how to be a pastry chef. He will most likely be slicing a lot of cakes and pies. Similar to a pastry chef, the SL-20 Slicer pedal slices the audio signal fed into it into really cool, sound patterns. Sadly, those sound patterns aren’t edible.
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BOSS ME-25 Effects Processor $70
HRT also causes an increase in musculature and a decrease in body fat. Similar to the effects of HRT, the BOSS ME-25 gives your sound the power and strength of 30+ pedals and 10+ guitar amplifiers, and yet shrinks it down to the size of a high school textbook. This pedal redefined my sound completely, and it can be used for more than just guitars. Comes with power supply.
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BOSS RC-20xl LoopStation $70 each
To put it plainly, HRT can help a person physically change into who they need to be. It’s the missing piece of the puzzle. Like HRT, using the BOSS RC-20xl LoopStation will change your life. For the past 13 years I’ve been able to play music for a living because of them, and these pedals (combined with the BOSS ME-25 listed above) are all you need to turn yourself into a compelling solo musician who embraces modern technology to make himself into the exciting musician they need to be.
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Pedal Board with case $60 (cat and pedals not included)
For a transgender who wants to change into a man, HRT is the starting point. I don’t know what it’s like to have such a transformative experience, but I can share this: When I started playing guitar, I had a guitar and amplifier, and that was it. As my playing developed, I added effects pedals to the mix, and I began to see my own personal potential as a musician. But when I played live I laid those pedals out on the stage haphazardly and stomped on them like a 6 year old stomping on bubble wrap. I was a disorganized mess. Playing onstage was a stressful experience, and I my playing suffered for it. And then I got a pedal board and organized those pedals into one unit and suddenly playing was fun again. I grew as a musician, and I grew as a man. Basically, THIS PEDAL BOARD MADE ME A MAN.
Originally a sales display at McMurray Music Center in St Louis Missouri, my pedal board has been on tour in all but 5 US states, been used on thousands of gigs with my bands Celery and ResistAll, and was my pedal board for the first 2 years of my solo career. I recorded my first two live solo albums with it, and I wrote all my best songs with it. This thing has been there for me for over 20 years, and I hope someone buys it and does something cool with it.
With all the other items, I searched completed listings on eBay and set the price lower than the average because I want to get this stuff sold. However, I set the price at $60 so as to make everything on this page an even $400 just in case someone want to buy all of it in one fell swoop.
With all these items, I’m willing to ship them for you with the carrier of your choice. I can accept paypal too.
If you aren’t interested in buying some of my stuff, you can donate to his gofundme page if you like:
http://www.gofundme.com/g8a2rzm8w

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